I don't know what I expected to enjoy the most about being a mummy. I thought it might be togetherness, the intimacy of breastfeeding, reading, playing, finding new toys to love, and going places together.
What has suprised me is that what I enjoy most is observing Joseph. Looking at how he views the world. I am endlessly fascinated by what he finds fascinating. Sounds, television programmes, different foods, the sights outside our window.
Joseph's favourite spot in the whole world is his highchair by the living room window. Our street is not exciting, Accrington brick houses, the odd person walking past, kids playing after school. This morning some noisy Canadian geese flew overhead, squawking, and Joseph gazed at them, cooing after them. It was just so lovely, something so mundane, that you could so easily overlook, if you didn't have a brand new human sponge eager for new experiences.
When he was a little baby, his surroundings were unchanging. Lights were always the same, sounds were the same, even the people didn't change. When Joseph came home, overstimulation was constantly a problem. I kept him quiet, kept toys to a minimum, even his clothes were kept subtle and comfortable and non stimulating.
The past few months have been like watching him come out of his shell. He observes, he plays, he sings, he tries to communicated, he eats chunky lumpy food and is trying to feed himself. I am not sure how I will feel as his independence grows, and he needs me less, but I hope I will always learn from him.
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